Classical music subgenres

theunvanquishedzims:

• Fairy children dancing
• ONWARD TO WAR
• Electric guitars haven’t been invented yet so violins are still the sexiest instrument
• Heavenly choir that’s way too long
• Lost in a monastery and too timid to interrupt chanting to ask for directions
• That one from the Bugs Bunny cartoon
• Emilia’s garden parties are such fun!
• Constance’s garden parties are not as fun as Emilia’s but still quite pleasant
• Must we attend Gertrude’s garden party (Mother says we must)
• Fairy adults dancing (NSFW)
• You’ve heard this song a thousand times but your boss’ child has a flute solo so you have to keep nodding along
• ONWARD TO WAR but with an indefinable Russian edge
• An Italian man is singing from his belly so this is probably about love
• (too quiet) TOO LOUD (too quiet) TOO LOUD
• Intellectual supervillain shows off liberal arts education
• Your boss’ other child has a ballet recital
• Christmas
• The other famous ballet that isn’t Swan Lake or the Nutcracker
• Sitars?
• The composer thinks cellos are sexier than violins
• More dancing fairies but with an insidious tonal shift so you can tell it’s the weird kind with horns and this isn’t the nice part of the story
• Church music that’s too bland to be heavenly choir or chanting
• The Big Six