partybarackisinthehousetonight:
why do windshield wipers only have 2 settings?? i need more than “one wipe every 86 years” or “metronome for a skrillex album”
partybarackisinthehousetonight:
why do windshield wipers only have 2 settings?? i need more than “one wipe every 86 years” or “metronome for a skrillex album”

My favorite trope is “janitor in headphones continues cleaning through extreme action”
*throws roasts for the rest of the day*: Leo, Aries, Aquarius, Scorpio
*smugness level: overload*: Sagittarius, Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn
*places gold sticker on self*: Gemini, Pisces, Cancer, Libra
If you aren’t a bit ashamed of your countries history, you don’t know your countries history.

The only honest man on CNN
the most trustworthy man on television

me, lonely as shit: i’m lonely as shit
anyone: hey do you want to hang out m-
me, exhausted suddenly: no
it baffles me that theres people who can just… just sit down and take out their homework and be like “time to work yes” and actually…get things done???? without a problem??? and move on?????? thats wild