luminarai:

listen, I’m not the biggest fan of kids but if a child looks at me then you bet I’m gonna smile back at them. kids deserve to experience the world as a kind and safe place to explore okay.

blindbirdnerd:

just-shower-thoughts:

Your future self is watching you right now through memories.

not if i drink enough alcohol! take that you prying creep

averagefairy:

por que no los dos ?

i-was-once-a–tortoise:

fuckassmcgee:

2018 Predictions

• Donald Trunp will make up an assassination attempt against him (not stage one, just say it happened)

• Very brief trend of wearing shirts inside out

• Hackers will attack Ajit Pai and uncover some sort of secret fetish of his (my guess is piss or feet but who can say)

• Mothman sighting will re-emerge followed by most likely another bridge collapse or maybe a building

• Someone (Florida Man) is gonna try (and fail) to eat a crocodile alive

• Boston Dynamics is finally gonna make a robot you can ride

• A prank youtuber will do a livestream where they will actually get murdered for real

• The Hot New Meme™ will just be screaming (think rickrolling but 1000× worse)

kaijuno:

I hate it when vodka tries to be fancy and use fancy adjectives to describe their products like I’m drinking fucking gasoline okay like this isn’t wine tasting we’re all here to get black out trashed and you know it

dani-roleplays:

egyptian or greek mythology? fairies or mermaids? vampires or werewolves? past or future? silver or gold? books or movies?

theredpelican:

we’re literally floating on a tiny planet in fucking space why are we surrounded by hatred and misery. why can’t everyone just calm the fuck down and lay on some grass. the sun is a GIANT BURNING ORB why does money exist. fuck everything

just-shower-thoughts:

Ouija boards say “Ages 8+”. So you have to be 21 to drink, but can summon the dead at 8.

pochowek:

(teleports to 13th century europe) Nobody on their phones. What a beautiful sight 🙂 (peasant beside me cherishes his last gasp of amazement at my clean ass jordans as he dies of common fever)