[to any deity in particular]: Hi. I’ve brought shitty alcohol, two electric candles, a chocolate bar, my many issues, and an undying love for you. Can you help me un-fuck myself?
[deity]: sighs deeply
If you’re a woman that’s really sexy of you
does no one realize that robin hood was a terrible role model for young kids? i mean you are stealing from people (illegal) and those people (usually) worked hard to get their wealth. it really demotivates people to succeed when they know they can get something someone else worked for.
is this what rich people worry about lmao
who knew the sheriff of nottingham had a blog
How does someone read Robin Hood and miss the part where it’s set in feudal England. He stole from people who got their wealth by exploiting the poor, incidentally that’s all rich people to this very day.
Tune in next week when they tell you the story of Ebeneezer Scrooge, a benevolent job creator, harassed during his sleeping hours by the hellish socialist dead.
At some point, someone decided that nature documentaries would be taken more seriously if they all had British narrators.
sun signs as bad habits
- aries, jumping to conclusions
- taurus, pretending to be unbothered by everything
- gemini, saying things they don’t mean
- cancer, guilt-tripping
- leo, jealousy
- virgo, constant paranoia
- libra, indecisiveness
- scorpio, thinking of people as possesions
- sagittarius, disregarding other’s feelings
- capricorn, self-righteousness
- aquarius, avoiding confrontation
- pisces, excusing problematic behavior for the sake of preserving friendship
why do ghosts and demons respond to fake Latin chanting?
because they don’t speak Latin either
they just go along with it because they have social anxiety
the sun has no business tapping out at the tender hour of 5pm bitch i have depression
Let's Talk About the Universe 