you wouldn’t download a filing cabinet
me: i’m done with guys in 2018 i’m focusing on myself to mentally glo and impr
Costco man: hi would u like to try a sample of a cheese 🙂
me: I Have Feelings For U
someone: skinny people are hailed as stylish no matter what dumb shit they wear and fat people have to put hyper-gendered effort into their appearance every moment of their life to receive the bare minimum of basic human decency and this is pretty shitty.
every skinny person in a 300 mile radius: this is targeting me personally, i will have you know that every morning at breakfast my own mother callously asks if i want seconds. seeing my figure praised in literally every form of media humanly possible is actually extremely traumatic because i hate knowing that i’m societally idealised. i was born with glass bones and paper ski
look. i don’t think my stretch marks are beautiful. i don’t think they’re tiger stripes or natural tattooos. i don’t think my acne is beautiful. i don’t think the bags under my eyes are beautiful. i just think they’re human. and i don’t think i have to be beautiful all of the time in order to be accepted and loved and sucessful. i don’t think every small detail of my outer appearence needs to be translated into prettiness.
me after finishing a movie: wow that was rly good!! im amazed
movie critics: trashiest movie ever created; possibly the worst movie of the year; complete disgrace
alternatively
movie critics: best movie of the year. revolutionary. it’s a cinematic masterpiece
me: what the actual fuck did I just watch
I saw this tweet and really needed to share it.
oh thank god i’m not the only one thinking this
electing a celebrity with zero political experience to the highest office in the land is exactly how we got in this mess in the first place
how did they learn to translate languages into other languages how did they know which words meant what HOW DID TH
English Person: *Points at an apple* Apple
French Person: Non c’est une fucking pomme
*800 years of war*
Fun fact: There are a lot of rivers in the UK named “avon” because the Romans arrived and asked the Celts what the rivers were called. The Celts answered “avon.”
“Avon” is just the Celtic word for river.
Fan Fact #2: When Spanish conquistadors landed in the Yucatán peninsula, they asked the natives what their land was called and they responded “Yucatán”. In 2015, it was discovered that in those mesoamerican languages, “Yucatán” meant “I don’t understand what you are saying”
W H E E Z E
u ever think about how ur skeleton is always wet
I wish I never had but thanks for ruining my life
don ’ t worry ! there will come a time when it ’ s not 🙂
Thanks! Even worse 🙂
finding out picasso died in 1973 feels like the fakest thing ive ever heard. everyone talks about him like he lived in a cave with nothing but a torch and paint he made from berries or bear shit or somethin but nah this dude probably sat down watchin looney tunes thinkin “damn i should draw some dude with a nose on his forehead thatd be dope” i feel so lied to
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