Me, about to be consumed by the void:
I accidentally hit post on this, but this somehow transcends all other jokes I’ve made
Would suck 2 live in the Victorian era and then your husband doesn’t even die. U never even get a chance to wear that sweet, sweet Victorian Mourning Garb. What’s even the fucking point?
hate when I am wearing makeup & still look shitty like what else am I supposed to do? get enough sleep? eat right & exercise? as if
11 months out of the year: life is a trainwreck
in december: life is a polar expresswreck
why would u eat healthy?????? to live longer ????..??? .all im hearing are two negatives.
“The Most Popular Girls in School” is BACK and it’s STILL FUCKING GREAT.
Warning: This video contains probably every swear word in the English Language.
kinda fucked up that i happened to be born in the one fucking era of history since the dawn of mankind that i cant just swing a sword around in the mud for a few years and then die
things i say that confuse and worry my coworkers:
- “happy birthday” every time i hand them something
- “well, that’s not ideal” whenever something is going wrong
- “we are in the timeline that god abandoned” whenever i’m mildly inconvenienced
- “can’t you see that your fighting is tearing this family apart?” whenever two or more coworkers are arguing
- referring to taking medication as “eating medicine”
- “time to go back to prison!” when putting animals back in their cages
referring to inanimate objects as (s)he, particularly when i break something and say “oh no, he’s dead.” this concerns them especially when i follow it up with “that’s not ideal”
- “what are they gonna do, fire me?”
I work in a blood bank, and constantly refer to blood types as flavors, such as “Oh, you need two units? What flavor is he?” And my older coworkers just look at me confused but my coworker that’s my age doesn’t miss a beat and responds “A Pos”
this is probably my favorite comment on this post so far
Let's Talk About the Universe 