“the CIA is releasing tens of thousands of files and videos from bin laden’s compound today, except his DVDs of ‘home on the range’ and ‘ice age: dawn of the dinosaurs’ and his copy of final fantasy vii, because those are copyrighted” is not a sentence i ever thought i would type, but 2017 continues to be full of surprises
Do you believe in bisexuality?
It’s a real sexuality not a fucking urban legend lmao
Firstable…im self conches and lack toast and tolerant
you idiots always complain about skyrim like ohh the dungeons suck the story suck yadda yadda thats bc ur not supposed to DO any of that dumb shit! ur supposed to roam naked and free and sneak into houses to make soup! it’s a soup game!
some door-to-door scammer when my parents aren’t home: are you 18?
me, turning 24 in two weeks: no sorry
Things my dentist has actually said to me:
“Well, either the x-rays lied to me or you are spontaneously creating teeth. I’m going with the second one because it’s way cooler.”
“When was the last time you flossed? Your gums aren’t bleeding which means I’m either not doing this hard enough or you actually floss your teeth regularly”
“You don’t need to do a fluoride treatment I just want to go check my facebook for a second and this is the best excuse I can come up with. Don’t worry your insurance will cover it.”
“Take a whole handful of toothbrushes, I can’t order new ones in less ugly colors until these ones are gone.”
“Remember not to eat or drink anything for a half hour…or actually you know forget that go eat lemons and drink coffee right now. I make money based on peoples bad decisions, you should probably stop brushing your teeth too.”
“I became a dentist because I like making children cry and they don’t let you do that as a regular doctor.”
goes back to medieval times
oldschool runescape music is actually playing everywhere i go
me: i knew it
Art is how we decorate space, music is how we decorate time.
please please please teach your children to cook while they still live under your roof. even the most elementary things can’t be overlooked. because i just had to show my 24 year old boyfriend how to use a potato peeler and now i need to lay down for an hour
i hate this post because it just proves that like.. no simple statement can just be absorbed and the general population of tumblr go ‘yeah that sounds about right.’ i’ve had nazis say it’s a woman’s job to cook, terfs say that it’s only ‘males’ who don’t know how to cook, people have accused me of being classist because some people don’t own potatio peelers, called a bitch for airing out my boyfriend’s dirty laundry (which if the most embarrassing thing i can procure about the guy is that he’s not great in the kitchen i’d say he’s okay lmao)
just shut up and teach your fucking children to cook holy shit dude
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