maikoa:

self care is drinking two jack in the box coffees at 7 pm and gaining enhanced vision of the shadow people you often see in the corner of your eye

Stop Sign: Strict
Speed Limit Sign: Cautious
One Way Sign: Stubborn
Yield Sign: Shy
Keep Out Sign: Secretive

just-shower-thoughts:

I get irrationally offended when websites tell me my password is weak.

setheverman:

you: heavy metal
me, an intellectual: burdensome mineral

crocophile:

edgar allen poe’s famous short story, ‘bird tells me to fuck off in my own home’

whiptrash:

wolfstarforever:

udon-doll:

Welcome to Ireland!

Where we accidentally legalised E.

standbyfortitanfall:

lightthefuze:

why do guys look so hot when they drive

cos we’re too stupid to work the air conditioning