mjalti:

my life is like Chopped except it’s God up there going “here’s a set of 4 mystery ingredients: some form of illness, zero disposable income, an ambiguous sense of self, 4 day old pasta….. you have 30 minutes to come up with some sort of life, with quality. ice cream machine broke”

pompadouche:

sirlightbulb:

Why are goosebumps called goosebumps

few people know this but there are actually tiny geese trapped under your skin. when you get cold they think it’s time to fly south for the winter so they try to break free and the bumps on your skin are their beaks trying to break through.

trust me. i am a goosologist. i study geese. my wife is a goose. we have three beautiful goose-human hybrid children. don’t judge our love.

Ancient Egyptians had fifty words for sand & the Eskimos had a hundred words for snow. I wish I had a thousand words for love, but all that comes to mind is the way you move against me while you sleep & there are no words for that.

Brian Andreas, Story People: Selected Stories & Drawings of Brian Andreas (via suspend)