wlws:
so I work at starbucks right and I was making this old lady a taste test drink to help her decide if she wanted a bigger size and I give her this drink right and as she’s about to take a drink I deadass said “take a fu-” before I stopped and realized I was really about to tell this 78 year old woman to take a fucking sip, babe
my family is so. fucking weird and resistant to talking about anything. when i was a small child i asked my mother why she had a lot of gifts and things where people called her by another name and she like. didn’t give me a straight answer? it was her Hebrew name. like that’s literally it. that’s all u had to say
great-great-grandma cohen refused to tell her younger children that they were related to her two eldest children
my family didn’t tell me about part of my actual name until i sent away for my social security info to get my driver’s permit in my junior year of high school. i have an entire middle name that no one ever felt the need to mention to me
i had to google my own brother to find out why we don’t talk about him anymore
one morning in seventh grade my mother was driving me to school and asked me if she was too overprotective. i told her “yeah, sometimes.” then she casually, calmly went, “maybe it’s because you were almost kidnapped as a baby”
she didn’t even elaborate until i asked her to explain
(my father later confirmed that i was, in fact, briefly stolen as an infant)
my mom just dropped this information on me for the first time and was then like “bye honey have a good day at school”
no one knows great-grandma ruth’s real last name
how come there isnt a single college professor out there that realizes the address bar on chrome doubles as a google search. every time i see a professor open chrome and then type in google.com i lose 2 days off my life span
this post is making college professors mad every time i get a notification on this post and its a professor upset that theyve been Called Out i just gain back 2 days of my lifespan so keep it up, i might eventually regain all the days i lost watching yall try to figure out how to use The Internet
Also people don’t seem to notice autocomplete happening so they laboriously type the whole thing even though it’s RIGHT THERE JUST HIT ENTERRRRRRR
Bonus round: college professors not realizing the YouTube autoplay so every damn time you finish watching a video the whole class has to painstakingly watch the timer run out and then the professor is shocked when the next video starts playing
Let's Talk About the Universe 